I had no idea leaving this country that I have grown to love would be so hard. Upon first arriving here I was excited but got extremely home-sick to the point where I almost went home early. Change and the unknown are scary and that’s what I was dealing with when I first got here. I arrived as an outsider, a person who clearly didn’t fit in and it was the worst feeling.
And just when I finally found my place here, I have to go home and experience that outsider feeling all over again. Yes it is true that I am going back to something familiar instead of going back to something unknown, but time has passed and people have changed. I now feel as if I’m leaving my family here to go back to a group of strangers who, because of the time difference and having separate lives, I have barely kept in touch with.
To those that I am leaving behind here know that I am so happy I got the chance to meet you and be a part of your lives for just a short time. I will not forget you, and I ask that you do not forget me. I am better for knowing all of you. Also remember that I will be back to visit, this is the place where I learned to fall in love and got engaged to a kiwi boy. I will be back to see my friends, my new in-laws and this beautiful country.
To those I am coming home to I ask that you be patient with me. Yes it is true that I missed all of you, but I am not the same person anymore. I would like to think I changed for the better, but I realize that some of you might not think that and that is okay. I did not replace any of you while I was here, but I do consider the people I met here just as important to me as all of you are. I have to leave behind what has become my second family and my fiancé only to come home to a place where I do not feel like I fit into anymore. Give me time and I will adjust to home, but this will not happen overnight. I cannot wait to see all of you and share some of my crazy adventures.
I head on a plane in about two days; I arrive home to face the challenge of fitting in again. I also have to start working on my senior project, get things in order for graduation and then hopefully grad school. Growing up is not an easy task but I’m lucky because I now have an even bigger support system than I did before. Instead of one family cheering me on I now have two