Sexual Violence

If you or someone else are in immediate danger, call 111.  If you cannot speak, stay silent and press 55. View the Silent Solution (opens in a new tab) PDF for more information.

Sexual violence is any sexual activity or behaviour that a person does not or cannot give consent to through the exertion of power and control. Other terms used include sexual abuse, sexual harassment, mahi tukino, sexual assault, sexual harm and harmful sexual behaviour.

Sexual Violence may also be considered a family violence (opens in a new tab) when it occurs within a close personal relationship. It does not matter if you are married, in a relationship, family, or strangers – consent matters every time.

Some of the behaviours are:

• Any type of penetrative sex without consent (rape) – vaginal, anal, oral, fingers/hands, object.
• Any indecent exposure such as flashing or inappropriate display of the body
• Unwanted sexual touching, hugging, encroaching on someone's personal space, kissing or indecent assault
• Image-based abuse - the non-consensual sharing of intimate images (including deep fakes), videos, rumours, or information online
• Any unwanted sexually suggestive comments or jokes, gestures, insults or taunts of a sexual nature, or other forms of inappropriate language
• Any unwanted advances (including online), repeated invitations to go out on dates, particularly if those invitations have previously been declined
• Inappropriate staring or leering
• Using threats, force, intimidation or coercion to induce consent
• Being forced to carry out a sexual act or requests for sexual favours
• Intrusive questions or comments about a person's private life, clothing or physical appearance
• Any unwanted receipt of sexually explicit pictures, posters, gifts, emails or text messages
• Sexual exploitation such as sextortion, and direct or indirect requests for sexual activity that contain an implied or express promise of preferential treatment or threat of detrimental treatment, exploiting a power differential
• Being forced to watch pornography

The behaviour may or may not be entwined with homophobia, biphobia, gender policing, transphobia, ableism, sexism and/or racism.

What is consent?

Before getting saucy, let's talk FRIES!

Freely given – consent can only be given when those involved are free from pressure, coercion, manipulation, drugs and alcohol.
Reversible – anyone can change their mind at any time. Consent is reversible even if you consented initially or at a previous time.
Informed – everyone involved must have all the information about what they are consenting to. e.g. if someone says they’ll use protection, like a condom, and they don’t, that is not true consent.
Enthusiastic – sex is meant to be fun, so you should only do the stuff you want to do!
Specific – Consent is specific to the acts you’re consenting to e.g. consent to making out is not consent to sex.

Have a go at using this interactive tool on sexual consent: Pause, Play, Stop (opens in a new tab)

Safety planning

• Safe Strategies for College Students (opens in a new tab) - consider creating a safety plan for yourself and with your friends
• A Guide to Safety Planning - another great safety planning resource for students
• Victims Information (opens in a new tab) - sexual violence

Supporting others

The key actions to a safe response to a disclosure are: Believe them, Listen, Offer Options (for support and reporting - see 'support services' below), Get support for yourself.

• Ensure basic needs are being met: Here to Help you (opens in a new tab) may be able to assist
• Get Help for someone else (opens in a new tab). Call Safe To Talk 0800 044 334.

Informative resources

• Specialist sexual assault medical service (opens in a new tab) (via SAATS). If the sexual assault occurred within the past 7 days, a person can choose to have a forensic examination.
• If you are sexually assaulted – understanding your options (opens in a new tab) - Gender Minorities Aotearoa.
• The Light Project (opens in a new tab) - This website  provides resources and information about porn for youth, their whānau, and youth professionals.
• Thursdays in Black (opens in a new tab) National campaign run by, and for, students to prevent and respond to sexual violence in tertiary institutions. Note: Currently, there is not a club at the University of Waikato.