Family and intimate partner violence

Learn what family and intimate partner violence is, explore the helpful resources, and explore support services in the community.

If you or someone else are in immediate danger, call 111.  If you cannot speak, stay silent and press 55. View the Silent Solution PDF for more information.

What is family and intimate partner violence?

Family violence is a pattern of behaviour that coerces, controls or harms another, within the context of a close personal relationship, and often involves fear, intimidation, and loss of freedoms (Te Puna Aonui, 2024).

Violence can be perpetrated by your spouse/partner, family member, someone you live with like a flatmate, a carer, or someone you share a close relationship with. Family violence includes intimate partner violence (a form of gender-based violence), elder abuse, child abuse, dating violence, and violence towards another family member or whānau member. 

Types of family violence include psychological or emotional, physical, sexual, coercion/control, spiritual, and economic. Some types of violence are specific to different communities e.g. withholding aides, withholding medication and gender affirming items.

The behaviour may or may not be entwined with homophobia, biphobia, gender policing, transphobia, ableism, sexism, xenophobia, and/or racism.

Resources and supporting others

Safety planning

Supporting others

Tips

  1. If someone is in immediate danger, call 111.
  2. If you know someone is experiencing family violence and they are not in immediate danger, actively listen, remain calm and offer support and information without judgement.
  3. Build trust by keeping the information confidential unless they are in immediate danger at that moment.
  4. Check-in on their safety e.g. do you feel safe? are you safe to go home?
  5. Offer to contact a helpline or service with them if they do not feel safe.
  6. Discuss their existing strategies to keep safe and prompt consideration of others (see Safety Planning section).
  7. Keep the door open to talk again and do not pressure them.

Informative resources

Nationwide support

Reporting to Police

Reporting to Police may not be an easy thing to do in certain circumstances, however, there are things that can be done to keep you and your whānau safe that enable you to inform Police. For more information, you can contact your local family violence agency or Women’s Refuge (see below) for advice and safety planning, and in some instances, advocacy. You can also go to Victim Support, Are You Ok? or Shine for more information.

For information on the Family Court, see the Ministry of Justice.

Violence support